You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
True college students do jello shots in the library
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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