literally had 100 drinks last night.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
