We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
