The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize