her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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