Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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