She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
