barbara walters just said penis...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
