Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
