fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
