That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
