When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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