from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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