I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
