I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
