tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
