I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
