Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize