So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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