I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
