Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
