I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Please, let me fuck your mom
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
