does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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