i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
