So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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