i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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