wrigley field is MILF paradise
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I deserve this hangover.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
