What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You pole danced in your parka.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
