This girl is more easily done than said...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
