I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
