Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
