I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize