I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
