I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The feeling are messing with the penis
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
