they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Randomize