so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
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