I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She told me I should be a condom model.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
