I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
