He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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