I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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