dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I think my fart just growled at me.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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