We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
