All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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