He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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