I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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