Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
