they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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