I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize