we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
tell me about the eggs
Randomize