omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
