He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
