I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I need water and some morals
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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