Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Please don't give away my fajitas
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
