Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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