Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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