Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's never too late to be topless.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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