i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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