never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize