I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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