he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
