I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We left the knife in your bed.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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