ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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