i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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