I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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