I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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