just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize