I hate your face
You smell like stripper and shame
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
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