and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize