$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
