Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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