do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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