It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
