I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You may now shotgun with the bride
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
