her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
