Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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